Grumpier Old Men

Ok so I realize that I am a 25yr old woman but I love this movie. I watch it every time it comes on, which is fairly often on CMT. hahaha. Here are some of my favorite quotes;

Grandpa: ...and finally Baby Bear looked up and he said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed, and the bastard's still there!" But Goldilocks had a Remington semiautomatic...with a scope and a hair trigger! And that was the end...of the Three Bears.

Max: What I wanted to say, Maria...what I'm trying to say...is that...there are many women floating in the river...but you're the only one that I want to stuff...and stick over on my wall...over the fireplace. 

Maria: I haven't been with a man for a long time
Max: Me neither.

Grandpa: I'm done.
John: Pop, I really wish you'd try the low fat bacon...
Grandpa: Well you can wish in one hand and crap in the other, and see which gets filled first! 

Grandpa: Well let me tell you something now, Johnny. Last Thursday, I turned 95 years old. And I never exercised a day in my life. Every morning, I wake up, and I smoke a cigarette. And then I eat five strips of bacon. And for lunch, I eat a bacon sandwich. And for a midday snack?
John: Bacon.
Grandpa: Bacon! A whole damn plate! And I usually drink my dinner. Now according to all of them flat-belly experts, I should've took a dirt nap like thirty years ago. But each year comes and goes, and I'm still here. Ha! And they keep dyin'. You know? Sometimes I wonder if God forgot about me. Just goes to show you, huh?