organizing

Since I started working at my dad's office (a law office) I have straightened a lot of things up. The first day I started full time I reorganized my office and cleaned out all the desk drawers and cabinets. I threw away a bunch of stuff and rearranged my desk to work better. Karen the lady who handles real estate in our office soon followed suit. She also rearranged her desk and began going through old files that hadn't been killed (everything is done and they've paid) yet that needed to be. A few days later Cathy who works on many of the other types of cases we have did the same thing. I have also cleaned out and organized our supply closet and mail room. I cleaned up one of our walk in closets that we keep killed files in and made room for more in there. I cleaned up and organized 2 bookshelves that we have in the hall way that had files, boxes of files, and our Rolodex's of killed files. My mother is constantly complaining about how slow her computer works and how she can't do a lot of things on the internet. Well yesterday I finally told her to move and let me fix it lol. I deleted a ton of websites that she had bookmarked several times, some that were no longer there and some that were just old and she didn't need. I switched her over to firefox and got rid of explorer. I cleaned up her desktop and organized her files. She had multiples of so many things it was ridiculous. Anyways now she thinks I'm a genius hahaha. . . even though that was all simple stuff that she just doesn't think about doing to her computer. I also cleaned out my dad's old phone messages that our on our computers. There were messages that went all the way back to 2009. So I checked to see if they were a client and we had their contact info and then I would delete them. It took a while but I did the ones from 2009, all of 2010 and up to June of 2011. I'd like to clean up my dad's computer too but it's hard to do with him always working. O well. I've also been slowly working on the attic. It is a nightmare. Files in boxes, on bookshelves that dad built, in filing cabinets. There in order but there spread out around the room so I have to walk back and forth from one shelf to another when I'm searching for several different files. And there are also boxes of our personal stuff like me and my sisters old stuff animals, comforter and sheet sets, dad's toys from when he was a child, rugs, a trombone, tons of my moms books, etc. So I'm going through every once in a while and bringing stuff down going through it, deciding what to keep and what to throw away. If it's person stuff then we're taking it home to store there lol. That's where I think it should belong at least so that's what we're doing. Anyways that's I really enjoy organizing and arranging things. There's just something about it that I like and gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I don't know lol.

WOO WEE

This weekend was a crazy one. For starters I get a message on Facebook Friday morning from this girl Brittany. She's Ashley's maid of honor. So she's throwing Ashley a bridal shower and I was going to throw her a bachelorette party. Ashley & Brittany had decided that the shower would be on the 17th & the bach. party would be on the 24th. So that was all I knew. Ashley was supose to get me the names and numbers of the girls she wanted to invite. Anyways back to what I was saying. I got a message Friday morning from Brittany saying that her & Ashley had been talking & they wanted to go ahead and have the bach. party Saturday night after the shower. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!! So I said ok and started googling bach. party games. lol. I did find some fun ones.

I went to lunch with Brooke on Friday and told her what was going on and she was pissed. I would have been pissed too but I didn't have time to be pissed I had to plan a party in a day! She textd Brittany and asked when the party was and Brittany said that she had told me that it was going to be on the 24th instead of the 17th now. I was like WHAT!?!?! So then I was really confused. Once I got back to work I checked facebook again and she had sent me another message saying never mind we will have it on the 24th, o wait Ashley just called me and said no she wants it after the shower. So now were back on for the next day geez! Brooke also txtd Ashley and asked what date it was and told her that she couldn't make it on Saturday b/c she had taken off the 24th for it. Then Ashley txts me saying I don't know why Brooke got the date wrong for the bach. party? whatever maybe the 3 of us can do something later. I txted her back that Brooke didn't get the date wrong. It was originally the 24th and that I had just found out that morning that it had been changed. Ashley was shocked. She said that her and Brittany had talked about it weeks ago and she thought that Brittany had told me. I said NOPE! She also said that Brittany had told everyone else to stay after the shower b/c we were going to have the bach. party afterwards. Well Brittany didn't do that either.

Friday night Brittany txted me a list of names and numbers and said to txt them the info about the party. So I did. And only 2 of them could make it. (NO SHIT B/C IT'S LAST MIN.) I was so pissed but I wasn't going to let it affect me yet. I was over at my friend Brad house watching tv with him trying to chill out before the crazy day I was going to have on Saturday.

Saturday comes and I had to run to home depo to get her a gift card b/c that's what they wanted, then I went to the dollar store and bought 12 wine glasses that I was going to decorate and give to the girls as gifts. I got 12 because I wasn't sure how many people were actually coming. Then I went to walmart and bought blue paper plates, napkins, and 30 balloons that matched her colors and also white balloons. I bought brownie mix, cheesits, chips, salsa, cheese dip, and 12 pack of Ashley's favorite beer and a whole bunch of Daileys strawberry daiquiris and a few margartias and the pomegranate kind. Since I didn't know how many people were going to be there and what they would like to drink I got a bunch and a variety of it. lol. Even the cashier asked me "are there any left on the shelf? hahaha. . . " I just chuckled and said yea. I however did not find it funny.

Anyways when I got home I imedeatly turned the oven on. I unpacked everything and started the brownies. Once those got in the oven I hand washed all 12 glasses. I ate some lunch while the glasses dried. Then I decorated them. I wrapped the stem of them with wire and had blue beads that matched her colors on them and a little dangily thing on them that said love. They were super cute!!! I was pretty proud of myself hahaha. Then I went down to the basement and blew up all the balloons it all it was about 60. Yea I think I'm probably crazy. I got the balloons all set up and brought everything downstairs except for the food.

I finally got to get dressed for the shower and go. I got there about 15 mins. late but it's ok cause several people couldn't even make it and another girl didn't get there till it was over. In total there were 6 of us there for the shower that includes Ashley. Then we went over to my house. I had gotten Ashley a sash that said bachelorrette on it and it lit up. It was pretty funny. I also got her a tiara that said the same thing and a glass that said "I'm getting married bitches". hahaha it was also pretty funny. The night went alright. The girls had a good time. We laughed a lot. Then they went over to Ashleys house. I stayed at home. I was so tired and exhausted from everything that day. Stress really takes a toll on you. My chest hurt, and my arthritis was bothering me, not to mention that I still have a stupid cough. I cleaned up the food and left the rest and then went straight to bed.

Well Sunday finally came around and I was so thankful for it. I just chilled out all day it was so nice. I hung out with Brad again and did nothing. Just reveled in the stress free day lol.

labor day weekend

Well Friday thanks to the hurricane and changing weather my throat was really sore so at lunch I went home to take a shower hoping that would make me feel better. Nope only made it worse. So I stayed home. My parents got home and we left for my sisters house. I felt awful on the way up. Had a terrible headache but I took some ibprofen and went to sleep. We got there and hung out with the kids for a while then we all went to bed. I sleep on the couch when I'm there. Well I didn't sleep that great that night so I was up before anyone else. Ashton had baseball practice that morning and we all went to that. Then Evan had a scrimmage game that afternoon that we went to. It was pretty hot out side and my nose was kinda stuffy. Other than that it was a pretty good day. I didn't sleep at all Saturday night. It was terrible. I woke up Sunday morning and ate some cereal with Ansley. We were suppose to go to the water park at Lake Lanier on Sunday. Well everyone went but me and Eddie. I was to sick to go and he just didn't feel like it. I spent all day sitting on the couch watching tv and dozing. Evan went to a spend the night party and Ashton brought home a friend to spend the night with him. I spent most of the night sitting on the couch with Ansley watching tv. However my dad, mom, eddie, erin and I did watch avatar which was nice. I didn't sleep all that great Sunday night but it was better than the night before. I woke up Monday and watched cartoons with Ashton and his friend. Which is what I feel like I did all weekend, watch cartoons. Anyways we didn't do much Monday, it was raining outside so we just layed around for a while until we left to go home. By that time a lot of my head congestion had moved into my chest. Which was really sore.

I didn't go to work Tuesday because I felt so bad. I did manage to get up and go buy some medicine. I got some mucinex dm for my chest. I took it last year when I had gotten so sick from my allergies and it worked well. However Tuesday I was not to thrilled about it. I got home took it, drank a whole glass of water like the directions say and started eating. After about 3 bites my stomach started cramping. Then it got worse and worse and worse. I was bent over in pain. There was no nausea just cramping. It was terrible. Turns out that's a side effect! How crappy is that! So that totally sucked. I spent the whole rest of the day laying in bed sleeping. Mom got home and fixed some pasta which I ate and it was wonderful probably just cause that was pretty much the only thing I ate that day. I also didn't got to work yesterday. I just needed one more day. I spent most of the day laying in bed watching tv and playing on the internet. I did eat lunch yesterday because I haven't taken any more medicine lol.

I had to go over to my friend Sarahs parents house last night and help her with a project for school. She has to make 4 videos interviewing a person about their health. This is for one of her nursing classes. Last nights video was all about my medical history, what types of medical problems I have like GERD, psoriasis, and asthma, and what medicine I take, all sorts of things. So that was kinda funny actually. It took us a while to figure out how to work the video camera but then we got it done great.

So that was my crappy labor day weekend. I am finally back at work but still have a bit of a cough and pretty congested but feeling much better than I was.

Gmommy

So this past weekend my aunt darlene stayed with her. Gmommy has gotn very sick. Her skin has been very raw around the wound and they've tried all types of things from prescription medicines to plain ol' vaseline. Nothing has proven to be long term help. On top of that she was incredibly nauseous. The doctors don't know why she is feeling like that, there is no infection, virus, bacteria, nor is it a side effect of her medicines. So we think it might just be in her head. In which case you can't do anything about. But they do have her on anti-nauseous medicine now. She also has been switched to getting an IV 5 days a week, which started last week. However she is still not getting enough it seems. She isn't severely dehydrated but she's very week still and she just can't keep the fluids in long enough to do their jobs.

The main thing from this weekend that was worrying everyone is that she couldn't get up. She couldn't even sit up with out her heart racing. So that obviously has everyone worried. We think her body is finally giving up much like her attitude. She's just tired of fighting. She refused to eat anything so they had to force her to eat by telling her that she couldn't take her medicine without eating first. She would eat about 3 bites then refused to eat anymore. She stayed in bed the whole weekend. Aunt Darlene explained everything that was going on that weekend to the nurse on Sunday when she got there to relieve her. Before leaving the nurse asked Aunt Darlene that if Gmommy's heart goes is she supose to revive her. My aunt called my mom and uncle and they decided that if she goes don't revive her. Gmommy had made the decision that if she has no quality of life then to let her go. So that's the plan. If she goes she won't be resuscitated.

random quotes

"You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do." -- Henry Ford
"He that flings dirt at another dirties himself most." -- Thomas Fuller
"Statistically 100 percent of the shots you don't take don't go in." -- Wayne Gretsky
"You can't unscramble eggs." -- John Pierpont Morgan
"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it." -- Henry Ford
"Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired." -- Mark Twain

5 year plan

My 5 year plan use to be having a job in photography and being married. Well now my 5 year plan consists of moving out of my parents house, having a job in the photography field, and being in a relationship with someone who respects me, cares about me, is trusting, honest, etc. That's pretty much it. Marriage isn't in the plan any more. Finding a descent man is hahahaha. Which is a pretty big challenge living in Albany. So is finding a job in photography. But everyone in all fields of work are having a hard time. O well.

church

"I grew up in church" so the saying goes. My g-daddy was a baptist preacher, my parents took my sister and I to church every Sunday morning, Sunday night and on Wednesday nights. I was in the children choir and GA's (girls in action). I went to every VBS, especially since my mom was and still is the director of VBS at Byne. I went to camp for a week during the summer as a kid. Then once in the youth group I was in the youth choir, I went on every mission trip, camp, day trip, activity we did in town, play, dinner theater, helped out with puppets and the drama team. I went to some of the youth VBS or I either helped out my mom during VBS. I helped out my boyfriend at the time in the audio booth on Sundays and he was in the youth band so I was at most of their practices and helped them set up stuff. Pretty much if the doors were open I was there. I loved being there. I loved doing all of those things. I had so much fun and learned so much.

Now when I go, well I don't go. But after high school things started changing. Actually they didn't change I think I just started noticing them. How hypocritical people are. I always knew they were but it just seemed to get worse. It wasn't just teenagers it was adults and senior adults. People who should know better and yet still act like children. People seem so closed minded about things, such as what type of music is played during the service. How ridiculous is that. With that close mindedness comes way too opinionated. People give their opinion but think that their way is the only way. How about everyone listen to everyone and then choose what best works for the whole and for God. Why do some people think that they always have to be right? People are so stubborn and bossy. And when they don't get their way or things are done in a way they think should go differently they talk about people behind their backs. Instead of doing what they should do and confront them. Tell people what you think. Don't act like children gossiping about each other instead of actually solving the problem. People act like stuck up brats and they form cliches. It's just so stupid that you don't even want to be at church. You don't learn anything from being there. There's no passion, no experience with God there. Which is so sad really. There is so much about it now that is just about politics within the church you don't want to get involved. And people act like their some sort of dictatorship as a preacher or the deacons think they should be running the church. When in reality it's the church as a whole that should make decisions for the church. People have bad experiences with each other and with people on church staff and they no longer want to go there or worse no longer want to go anywhere. Knowing that someone who is in a church position would act that way makes their heart harden on church as a whole and the people that work there.

I just have no interest to be at church. I'm sort of harden from it all and most of the people my age that I know seem to be the same way. They just don't get what they use to from it. We're better off being on our own, talking to God and having fellowship with our friends, reading our Bible on our own time and that be it. Going to church only pulls me away from God.


I keep trying to find a life

On my own, apart from You

I am the king of excuses

I've got one for every selfish thing I do

What's going on inside of me?

I despise my own behavior

This only serves to confirm my suspicions

dc talk

That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

Gmomy update.

Well like a previous rant post about gmommy, my parents had to take her up to Piedmont from Albany because she was so dehydrated on Thursday the 4th. She spent a lil under 24hrs in ICU because her sodium level was so low. Then they put her in a regular room. She went home on that Saturday. Well last Thursday the 11th the nurse who was staying with her had to take her back to the hospital because she was once again dehydrated. They told the doctor that was there that they need to put her back on schedule to get the visiting nurse coming twice a week to her house to give her an IV. But the doctor said no that it was to much of a risk of infection to do that. we said fine we'll be back again for dehydration next week. He said fine. Well obviously everyone is mad at this man. He's not even one of gmommys doctors he was just the hospitalist that was there this time. So we're trying to get a hold of two of her doctors to see what they say. Because if gmommy doesn't get this iv at home then this will be a never ending process of going to the hospital for dehydration. It's incredibly annoying. The risk of infection in an iv is better than racing to the hospital every week for fluids. Not 2 days after she got out of the hospital did she start feeling bad again. Their trying to hold off on taking her to see if maybe it'll go away but probably not. She'll probably be right back in there in a few days.

Back when everything first happened one of the doctors said that there is a surgery he could do to put everything back in and close her up, but that we'd have to wait a year to see how she heals and everything. Well last time she went to the doctor he said that shes doing great and he should be able to do the surgery. The only thing about it is because of her age and delicate state she only has a 50/50 chance of making it. So of course she's worried about having the surgery. It may sound morbid and awful however some of us, definitely me, think that she should do it. Best case scenario it works and she does much better or she doesn't make it and her suffering is ended and she gets to be in Heaven with God and gdaddy. Worse case scenario she makes it through but has complications and we're really in no better shape than she is now. Some of us think that if she doesn't make it would be a huge relief on her and a relief for everyone else. She is depressed all the time, she has trouble remembering things, she doesn't want to try any more, and she's constantly having to go back to the hospital. She's running out of money having to pay the medical bills and nurses to stay with her. My mom and aunt take turns on weekends taking care of her and giving the nurses a break off. My uncle doesn't do crap and is being a huge pain in their neck, causing more stress for them and the nurses.

My mom, dad, aunt and uncle (her husband not their brother) have discussed what they could do about the money situation. She can't continue to pay nurses to stay with her forever. She can't go to a nursing home with the health problems that she has. She can't stay in the hospital cause they don't do that nor could she afford that any ways. Long term hospitals are for people who require long term care and rehab to get better and go home, so she can't go there cause she's not really going to get any better than she is. She could possibly live with my aunt and uncle or my parents but then the problem is that all her doctors are at Piedmont and they don't want to take her far away from them. They don't want to try to get new doctors into her case.

So that's what's been going on with gmommy. It's a lot of mess.

crazy teachers

Out of all my years of school from preschool to graduating with my B.F.A. the best story I have of a psycho teacher loosing it during class would have to be my senior year of high school. I was in Spanish 2. There were a handful of us seniors with a whole bunch of juniors so the class was already obnoxious dealing with them and on top of that our teacher was crazy. She kept a travel mug in her desk that she would drink out of occasionally. She said it was coffee but we all knew it wasn't. It was liquor. lol. She would have random out bursts sometimes mostly though they were understandable because our class was terrible. This day was particularly horrible. The juniors just would not shut up and behave. Finally the class grew silent and were working on their assignments. Out of no where someone did something, either said something or a cell phone rang. I can't remember but she FREAKED OUT. She dramatically stood up, her chair flying back, she slammed her hands on her desk and said, " I am psycho". We all looked around at each other and then there was just a roar of laughter. No one could contain themselves. Including me. She meant to say "I am not psycho" but that isn't what came out. It was hilarious. She started yelling at us but you literally couldn't hear her over all the laughter. She stormed out of the room and soon after the assistant principal came into our room. He really didn't seem all that mad at us. He gave us a little lecture after we got quite. We explained what happen and you could hear her out in the hall yelling things back at us saying that we were lying. She refused to come back in the room and ultimately left for the rest of the day. The assistant principal had to take over her classes for the rest of the day. It was pretty awesome.

if i won the lottery

If I won the lottery (I would have to actually play the lottery however which I don't) I really wouldn't spend a whole lot of it. Seeing as how the government takes out a lot of it and then normally you get a certain amount of it periodically. But none the less it would still be great to win.
First off I would buy a new Honda Accord. I really like Civics better but the new ones look like the old Accords and the new Accords look like the old Civics. So I would probably test drive both and then choose.

Second I would get a 1 bedroom apartment. I thought about a 2 bedroom but really why spend the money on a room your not going to use? However I could use it as an office or studio but then who really wants to come to a studio to have their picture taken in an apt.? So I would go with a 1 bedroom. If any of my friends did want to come spend the night they can share the bed with me, sleep on the air mattress or sleep on the couch. I really don't care.

and thirdly I would but some more camera equipment. Some lenses, a couple more cameras. Perhaps some props and such.

Other than that I would just save it and use it to pay my bills.

the love game

Love: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties

: attraction based on sexual desire

Games: activity engaged in for diversion or amusement.
: a procedure or strategy for gaining an end
: a physical or mental competition conducted according to rules with the participants in direct opposition to each other
: any activity undertaken or regarded as a contest involving rivalry, strategy, or struggle
: animals under pursuit or taken in hunting
: willing or ready to proceed

When reading the definitions of games they seem to sound a lot like love. Do we not engage in relationships for enjoyment, amusement, companionship, etc. ? Don't we have strategies for finding someone? Examples being flirting or how we get dressed up for a date or to just go out with friends. We are in a mental competition with the others to look better, be better. There are unspoken rules that everyone knows. There is rivalry and struggle for attention. Aren't we considered as animals and don't we pursue each other? We have the term cougars. We joke about people being on the prowl for someone. We are willing are ready to proceed with relationships, companionship, sex. Isn't that pretty much what the definition of love said.

Also with love there are winners and losers. So why play the game?

5 Reasons Love Sucks "First, the expression most commonly used with love is “falling in love.” There is no better word to describe it. It is indeed “falling” in love, and that’s what sucks about it. You are tricked into it like an addictive gambling game, and then you are tripped, and you fall, and you keep falling in a seemingly endless spiral. And, like everything that falls, you eventually hit a bottom, and it will be hard and painful. Falling in love only gives you an incurable ache when you reach the end."

Why do people put themselves through that ache over and over again? Why risk it?

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
— C.S. Lewis

When we open ourselves up to be loved we also open ourselves up to be turned down. We will be disappointed and broken.

"Trust is like paper, once crumpled it can never be perfect again" - unknown

Just like in games there is playing in love. People play with your emotions, your mind, your heart. They make you feel like your so special one moment and the next your nothing at all. People lie and break promises. Once your trust in someone is crumpled it can never be made whole again. You can try all you want to straighten it up but there will still be those wrinkles reminding you that they've lied or they've broken their promise before. Those wrinkles fill up with doubt. Are they telling the truth? Will they lie again? Why should I trust them? Do they really mean that? Will they actually follow through with that promise?

" love is like a butterfly, fluttering for a moment and as though it'll last forever" a little twist on Dr. Carl Sagan's quote, “We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever.”

Love fools us into thinking that something can last. Nothing ever really works out though. You just fail a little better each time.

someone put a curse on me

I think someone put a curse on me to have crazy crap happen to every single day. lol. On top of the crap that was going on about G-mommy that I was ranting about the other day "no one listens to me" I was really hoping to have a good weekend. However that apparently was not what was in store for me. I had my hopes up about seeing someone over the weekend, my bad shouldn't have done that. I got my hopes up for nothing. So I don't blame that person for not texting me or anything on Friday but I do blame them for Saturday. They totally stood me up. It sucked. However I did go with my friend Brooke and her family to Columbus on Saturday to go shopping, but it rained the entire time and we didn't find anything. Apparently they suck just as much as Albany. So then I got stood up Saturday night. It was great. What a wonderful feeling. I spent Friday and Saturday night at home alone watching movies. Nice huh. Well Brooke and I decided that we were going to lay out on Sunday no matter what. Well we get out to the pool at River Point layed out about 15 mins when it started raining. So we left got something to eat and hung out at her house for about an hour. We called River Point to ask if it were still raining over there and they said it had stopped and the sun was starting to come out. So we headed back over and it was raining the whole way there and when we got there it was drizzly. Well being as determined as we were to have a good day and get to lay out we layed out in the drizzle. It only lasted a few mins then cleared up. So we got some sun for 2 hours. I guess that's better than nothing. When I got home I got to have a lovely conversation with the person that stood me up. So then I felt like crap again and went to go get something to eat and take my movie back from the night before. Brad had offered that I could come over and watch a movie with him so I wouldn't have to pay for another movie when he's got them for free. I thought I just wanted to be alone and sulk in my misery but walking around Blockbuster I knew that I didn't want to spend another night alone watching movies so I watched a movie with Brad. It made me feel a little better cause it got my mind of things for a little while. When I got back home I was texting Brooke about the conversation I had with that person and I accidentally sent one of the txts to him. I was so embarrassed but he said it was fine and kinda thought it was funny. I really wanted to run away and disappear, especially when I did it a 2nd time! Yup it happened twice. I felt like such a fool but such is life.

So then Monday comes around. I went to work just like always. I felt like crap from the weekend but no biggy. Well after lunch it got worse and I had to go home cause I was sick to my stomach and just felt exhausted. I ended up sleeping from 3-7 and then went back to bed around 11 and slept till 8am. Needless to say I felt very rested on Tuesday lol. At work on Tuesday I was thinking it would be a much better day because I feel better about everything. Well 10am this woman comes in to see one of the lawyers upstairs. She comes in pretty often, she's mostly blind and has some mental handicap also but I'm not sure what. Well she comes in crying and making a huge scene. She had an "accident". She went and used our bathroom continuing to make a scene about it (understandably I would have too being an adult). She was being so loud. She finally came out and started calling people on her cell phone crying and being hysterical. Her lawyer came down and told her that he would take her home. When they left I was sent to the store to buy a ton of disinfectant cleaning stuff for the bathroom. The whole office was smelling. So much for having a good day. On the way to the store I got to watch the lady in front of me hit a bird. That was lovely. So I get back to the office with all that stuff and my mom cleaned the bathroom hahahaha. I wasn't going to go in there. After lunch we get back to the office and she's back, doing much better, meeting with her lawyer. Before she left she used our bathroom again, walked out side and not 2mins later comes back in and uses the bathroom again! When she finally did leave, the bathroom got cleaned again.

Then after work I went to the grocery store for my mom to get us food for the week. I saw my friend Sarah there and we talked for a while. It was great to catch up some if only for a brief few mins. Right when I walked out the door of the grocery store the Heavens opened up and it was pouring! It looked like I had jumped in a pool by the time I made it to my car. Literally! I was soaked. And the wind was blowing crazily so my hair was all over the place on top of being completely wet. I looked like a wet dog. It was not a pretty look. I was thinking really?! This is really happening! So I decided I was not going to let it get me down. I was lucky that I was on my way home to take a shower so it didn't really matter that I got rained on. And then when I got home I pulled into my dads spot in the garage and unloaded the groceries, my purse and my shoes. Then I pulled back out and parked in my normal spot, rolled up my pants, got out of the car and strolled lazily across the driveway in the pouring rain singing out loud. hahahaha. . . I'm sure it was a sight to be seen. So there it was my attempt to take a crappy day and really a awful week and weekend and turn it into something else. Trying to make it better. And it did. I felt better about it. I started cooking dinner, took a shower, my parents got home, mom helped me finish dinner, I dried my hair and chilled out for a while. Then my stomach got a little sick again but I refused to let it get me down. I slept alright last night and I've had a pretty decent day today. Maybe things are starting to turn around. I hope at least.

i am here

I'll start from the beginning I guess. Once upon a time there was a girl. I believe her name was Christen Roach. I'm not sure how she spells her name though so that's what I'm going with for now. From what I'm told she lived in New Smyrna Beach, Fl. When she was 15 she got pregnant. Her family didn't want the baby. They didn't even want her to have the baby. They wanted her to have an abortion. But she refused. She knew she couldn't do that, she wouldn't do that. I don't know the details but she left her family, left her friends, left her life. She moved in with a preacher and his wife up in Marietta, Ga. There she waited. On July 23, 1987 she gave birth to an 8'7" baby girl.

And that's how my life started, that's how I came into this world.

The other side of the story is
Once upon a time a couple Jan & Clayton Smith and their 4yr old daughter Erin were at home with some friends when they got a phone call. It was from a friend of theirs in Florida. He asked them if they were still wanting to adopt another little girl. They said yes they would love to. He said ok I got one for you. He told them the story of Christen Roach and they knew that that was going to be their baby girl. Now because she was living in Florida and they were in Georgia adopting over state lines is very difficult. So they moved her up to Georgia to get away from her family and to make the adoption process more easy. After she gave birth they went to the hospital and picked up their newest addition to their family. A 8'7" baby girl who they named Casey Noelle Smith.

And that's how my life started, that's how I came into this world.