church

"I grew up in church" so the saying goes. My g-daddy was a baptist preacher, my parents took my sister and I to church every Sunday morning, Sunday night and on Wednesday nights. I was in the children choir and GA's (girls in action). I went to every VBS, especially since my mom was and still is the director of VBS at Byne. I went to camp for a week during the summer as a kid. Then once in the youth group I was in the youth choir, I went on every mission trip, camp, day trip, activity we did in town, play, dinner theater, helped out with puppets and the drama team. I went to some of the youth VBS or I either helped out my mom during VBS. I helped out my boyfriend at the time in the audio booth on Sundays and he was in the youth band so I was at most of their practices and helped them set up stuff. Pretty much if the doors were open I was there. I loved being there. I loved doing all of those things. I had so much fun and learned so much.

Now when I go, well I don't go. But after high school things started changing. Actually they didn't change I think I just started noticing them. How hypocritical people are. I always knew they were but it just seemed to get worse. It wasn't just teenagers it was adults and senior adults. People who should know better and yet still act like children. People seem so closed minded about things, such as what type of music is played during the service. How ridiculous is that. With that close mindedness comes way too opinionated. People give their opinion but think that their way is the only way. How about everyone listen to everyone and then choose what best works for the whole and for God. Why do some people think that they always have to be right? People are so stubborn and bossy. And when they don't get their way or things are done in a way they think should go differently they talk about people behind their backs. Instead of doing what they should do and confront them. Tell people what you think. Don't act like children gossiping about each other instead of actually solving the problem. People act like stuck up brats and they form cliches. It's just so stupid that you don't even want to be at church. You don't learn anything from being there. There's no passion, no experience with God there. Which is so sad really. There is so much about it now that is just about politics within the church you don't want to get involved. And people act like their some sort of dictatorship as a preacher or the deacons think they should be running the church. When in reality it's the church as a whole that should make decisions for the church. People have bad experiences with each other and with people on church staff and they no longer want to go there or worse no longer want to go anywhere. Knowing that someone who is in a church position would act that way makes their heart harden on church as a whole and the people that work there.

I just have no interest to be at church. I'm sort of harden from it all and most of the people my age that I know seem to be the same way. They just don't get what they use to from it. We're better off being on our own, talking to God and having fellowship with our friends, reading our Bible on our own time and that be it. Going to church only pulls me away from God.


I keep trying to find a life

On my own, apart from You

I am the king of excuses

I've got one for every selfish thing I do

What's going on inside of me?

I despise my own behavior

This only serves to confirm my suspicions

dc talk

That I'm still a man in need of a Savior