Dad's Cancer

So, my dad had cancer. I noticed something was weird with him at my graduation at UFL. He's normally a very talkative person and he hardly said two words the whole weekend. After I got home I called my mom and asked if everything was ok with him. She said he was just tired and stressed about stuff at work. So, I didn't think any more about it. But then my sister, Erin, also said something to my mom about how tired he was when they would go visit them. Dad kept saying he was just tired and stressed about work. But this felt very different. Come on you're in your 60's and you've been a lawyer you're entire life! You're not that stressed that it takes a physical toll on your body like this is.

Thanksgiving came and went, so did Christmas. He was losing a lot of weight. Finally, sometime in April 2019 my mom had enough! She told him he was going to the doctor! So, she called up the doctors office, told them what was going on and that they wanted a full work up of everything that they offer. LOL. And they did. And what did they find? Cancer! Dad had a large tumor growing on one of his kidneys that was killing him. The type of cancer that he had is aggressive and usually comes back. They got in to see a doctor at Emory Hospital to diagnose and decide on treatment. Two weeks later we were at Emory and dad was having surgery. 

 

 

I drove over from Charleston the day of the surgery. I asked my mom and Erin which hospital do I need to be going to, because Emory has several. They said, "Oh it's the one downtown. It's the only one." So, I found it and put it in my GPS and headed off. Traffic was terrible coming into Atlanta as always and Erin calls me saying that dad is now in pre-op and I have to hurry. What am I supposed to do? Fast and Furious my way through downtown ATL? I tell her I'm almost there! She tells me to leave my car at the valet and then come up to the 4th floor. I pull up to the hospital (the one they told me to go to) drop my car off at the valet and walk inside. The elevators only go up to a 3rd floor. I stop at the visitor desk and ask if I'm in the right place.

 I WASN'T! 

I was at the wrong hospital!

So, now I'm fuming mad. I call Erin and tell her what's going on while I pay for my valet ticket and wait for them to bring back my car! I was soooo pissed! 

Erin is also panicking saying that they were essentially waiting for me to get there so I could see dad before surgery. I get in my car and take off towards the other hospital across town. I told her she better be outside at the valet desk waiting for me, because I'm not walking into another hospital without her. Thankfully she was and I left my car with the valet and went with my sister up to see my dad. 

Dad was on some very happy meds in this picture and as we left the room he told us to "Go eat some pancakes!" We have no idea where that came from especially since it was like 2pm and we hadn't been talking about pancakes. lol.

 

 I got to see my dad before he went back for surgery. We actually sat there for like 30mins so Erin was stressing me out for nothing. Anyways, the nurse wheeled him back to surgery and my mom, Erin, and myself went down to the cafeteria to get some lunch. We hung out down there for a while then walked around the campus which was very pretty. Then back to the waiting room to chill. Then dinner time came. We went back to the cafeteria and ate dinner then back to the waiting room. My mom was visibly worried, of course. Who wouldn't be? (Me! I wasn't worried at all. More on that later.) So, Erin and I kept mom occupied and upbeat. That's your job as a child.

 

Finally, a nurse came and got us. We went into a tiny room with a table and chairs and met with the doctor. Everything went great with dad's surgery. As soon as my mom heard that I think she zoned out and didn't hear anything else. Well, Erin and I payed attention to every detail and relaid it to my mom later. They had removed an 8lb tumor and the kidney. Dad was doing great and we were just waiting for him to wake up from the anesthesia. 

Erin stayed at the hospital another couple of hours but eventually left to go home. She lives close to Atlanta so it was only like a 45min drive. Mom and I waited and waited and waited. Until we were the only people in the waiting room! And the people that work at the desk in the waiting room had left for the night. We were the only people there! Mom was really worried now about why it was taking so long. Had something happened? I thought they just forgot about us (story of my life) and that's exactly what happen. Shift change happened and no one told the new nurse that we were out there waiting. I went and peeked in the doors, but of course couldn't go through them because they're locked and you have to be let through from the other side. I started to look up phone numbers on their website to see if there was someone I could call to let them know we were there waiting. Finally, a nurse came out asking if we were waiting for Clayton Smith. YES WE ARE! She apologized and said no one told her we were there but she thought dad looked like someone that would have family waiting for him. LOL. So, at around 11pm we finally got to go back and see dad. It was 5 HOURS AFTER his surgery was finished! He was still groggy. Having trouble waking up.

Dad is too tall for the post op hospital beds. hahaha.

 

Mom and I sat there talking to him trying to get him to stay awake lol. All the while watching the lady in the bed next to us take out all her tubes and IV's, throw her blanket on the floor and her gown! It was crazy, hilarious, and mortifying. The nurses finally closed the curtain but we could still hear everything that was going on over there. lol.

Anyways, dad was in the hospital a few days recovering. Mom and I stayed at the condo my parents have in Atlanta. (The one we got when I was in school in Atlanta) Erin would come over during the day and hang out with us. One day she brought an art project of Ansleys (my niece, who was like 10 at the time) and Erin and I colored this art project for Ansley. hahaha It was a lot of fun but it was actually difficult for me because I had to be messy and color it like a 10 year old would and I was just really struggling with it not being perfect. But Ansley made an A on it! YAY! lol. 

When dad got released from the hospital, I drove him and mom back to the condo and I spent the night there one more night then left the next day to come home. I had been answering emails for work on my laptop during the day so I wasn't missing too much at work. And people at work obviously knew what was going on and that I'd be back when I get back.

Dad happy to be out of the hospital, sitting in his recliner at the condo, eating some McDonald's.

Ok like I said the type of cancer that he had is aggressive and unfortunately it usually comes back. But so far it's been two years and he just got his 6 month check up and still no cancer! Now, the part about me not worrying about my dad's cancer or surgery. At the time all this happened Chris and I were really struggling! He was a full blown addict. He was a patient at a methadone clinic, which I have opinions about now, but that's for another day. I was practically broke. And I hadn't told anyone! No one knew what we were going through. I think I had told one friend of mine and my doctor, because I had to get on some anxiety medication to help deal with everything that was going on. Life was out of control and crumbling around me. So, when I found out that my dad had cancer I just knew I couldn't take on anything more. I prayed for God to help me through it all. And I just felt this peace about it. I knew that my dad would be fine. God told me He was going to take care of my dad, the cancer, the surgery, everything. I did not need to worry about any of that! There was enough on my plate but He was gonna take of this. So, I never worried. I didn't worry while we were waiting for him to get out of surgery. I didn't stress while we were waiting for him to wake up. I didn't worry about whether they got it all or if it was going to come back yet. Because I knew he was fine. God had given me a peace about it. He was taking care of my daddy! And as terrible as it sounds being there helping with my dad instead of in Charleston worrying about where and what Chris was doing was like a vacation. While my mom, Erin and I were in the hospital cafeteria talking and eating I remember thinking, "Wow, if only you knew what I was going through at home you wouldn't be worried about dad's surgery." I wasn't about to tell them right then with all that going on. I didn't want to burden them or and more to their plates. Which is silly I know. They're my family. I should have told them long before that but I didn't. Pride was a big problem for me back then. 

Anyways... my dad has been cancer free for 2 years now! It's wonderful and we thank God all the time for it!